Dean's Update
June 6, 2025 - Aron Sousa, MD
Dean’s Wife’s Bear’s Update,
Because of a propitious schedule alignment, this past Saturday, Dean Aron Sousa was able to be accompanied to the Michigan State University College of Human Medicine Teddy Bear Health Fair by both his wife Alice and me, her bear.
You may be wondering about me, since I expect Aron doesn’t talk about me that much. If I remember my worn-off tag correctly, I come from the Gund family of bears and was assembled in China of all new materials. I was originally supposed to be Aron and Alice’s child’s bear, but the offspring decided as a wee lad to bond to a Beanie Baby sheep instead of me. (There is no accounting for taste.) Seeing that I was a fine bear, the mother was forced to adopt me, and I’ve been putting up with her slumberous drooling and middle-of-the-night writing ever since. (Alice is transcribing this for me. I cannot use a keyboard unless it is comically large.)
Above: Zeke the Wonderdog, owned by Jim and Terri Foley, demonstrated his agility at the Teddy Bear Health Fair.
But enough about me. Let me report that Saturday’s event was astoundingly well attended, with somewhere around 800 humans and more stuffed animals than I could count. Kudos to the College of Human Medicine’s Communications, Engagement and Outreach team and events manager Melissa Veneklase who pulled this thing off. They managed to book not only Sparty himself, some highly sparkly cheerleaders willing to dance with the scruffiest of stuffed bedmates, but also Zeke the Wonderdog, who I didn’t get too close to, because, let’s face it, we don’t know where he’s been, and there are just so many times you can go through the washing machine before you lose an eye.
The humans were of the particularly fine type, as evidenced not only by the fact they came to a health fair, but that they’re teaching their children to bring their stuffed animals to proper specialists. Without meaning to criticize, I’m just going to point out that when my back seam split open and I started spilling out my fluffenaculum, the dean – despite being a board-certified internist with no real surgical skills – decided to stitch me up at home. There was not even any anesthesia, except for Alice, who was drinking a cocktail.
To be fair, his work was certainly adequate; I remain sealed and colleagues of his who were shown the scar on Saturday were impressed with the result, if a little unclear on why his wife and I are still in a relationship. Still, unlike the patients in the pediatrics tent, I was deprived of a sticker upon discharge.
To my mind, there is some issue with having medical students largely unsupervised performing procedures on creatures too brainless to consent – yes, I’m talking about you again, Beanie Babies – but the students were admirably cheery and helpful. For example, unlike at certain clinics, one young fella working the x-ray machine required no insurance biopsies before rendering care. (His preceptors might want to check why everything he x-rayed, from porcupines to dinosaurs to Snoopies, came out looking like a human hand.)
Above: Jacob Charron (MS3) explains an x-ray to the young human of Snoopy.
A couple of students used some relatives of mine – both of whom are obviously suffering from acromegaly – to introduce young humans to CPR. I’m not so sure about their technique, given that no matter how many times revival was attempted, the pair remained looking like Aron post-call. But the children seemed engaged.
Above: Linden Wells, a Michigan State University undergraduate studying physiology, demonstrates CPR on a large Teddy Bear.
As I understand it, a major purpose of the event is to help children feel comfortable with medical care by requiring their stuffed animals to act as role models. In this regard, my brethren performed admirably, quietly and patiently allowing the medical students and physicians present to listen to their nonexistent hearts, check their ears for bedbugs, and tap their joints to confirm there are no reflexes in stuffed animals.
Above (l-r): Drs. Olga Napolova and Harrietta Christodoulos from the Department of Pediatrics and Human Development, Shems Hamdan (MS2), Nora Mertz-Bynum (MS3), Alexander Bynum (MS3) and two high school students attend to young humans and their stuffies.
To a one, the stuffed animals remained silent, perfectly still, relaxed, and pliable during the physical exams. Listening in, I could not help but notice the histories provided by the owners were often vague. If there was any pattern, it was along the lines of “you can’t trust your siblings.”
Above (l-r): Michigan State University College of Nursing students Morgan Howell and Lily Campbell.
In addition to providing care services, many of the medical and nursing students went into training mode of “see one, do one.” Children were readily handed stethoscopes, those flashlights you use to look into the eye, and the like. It looked as if there was a sort of recruitment going on for the professions of medicine and nursing, although maybe one has to wonder if all these kids went home thinking they will grow up to be professional care providers for stuffed animals, a field that – let’s face it – won’t pay off their loans.
Above (l-r): Luke Baylis, Katelyn Gerard, and Maddie Bloch, all OMS-II and hard at work.
The fair was pretty low-key but I noted at least one display of some pretty high-tech stuff. You’ve heard of pig valves being used for humans. Well, have you heard of this one – the use of a stuffed animal head to replace a lost human head?
Above (l-r) Dr. Doogie Howler with the Capital Area Therapy Pets
is Christian Foxworthy (MS3) with Aron.
Brave new world, people. Brave new world. The good thing is that he won’t need to worry about transplantation rejection, since my people have no immune systems.
I should note the fair included not just the people of the College of Human Medicine but folks from the College of Osteopathic Medicine, College of Nursing, the state health department, the East Lansing Fire Department, and many local do-gooding organizations. Next Generation Family Services, for example, came to encourage proper car seat use.
They were so nice, I did not have the heart to tell them that we’re rarely harmed by being tossed about.
All in all, it was a fine day out. Parents got to learn about lots of wonderful resources available to them and their children got to encounter health care providers in a low-stress environment, and Aron got to have a week off from writing the Dean’s Update. I rate it a win.
Serving stuffed animals with you,
Hope Bear
Dean’s Wife’s Bear
